Improving Your Relationships - Technique

To exhaust your relationship karma a decision is made. Decide that you have had
enough of the relationship experiences you have been attracting. Really mean it! No
longer will you put your happiness in the hands of ‘other’ people, by having expectations of what they should be like, and then being disappointed when they simply act how they are. To exhaust your karma in relationships first requires that you take the time to pay attention to how people really are, to love and bless them in all their actions, and then to intentionally decide if you really want to be a part of all that a relationship with said person entails.

Step 1 – When going into an interaction with anyone, remember that most people
are on autopilot 95% of the time. There actions are based on conditioning, how they’ve been raised, how they choose to see the world, and their motives in life, most of which they are not even aware.

Step 2 – Practice bringing conscious awareness into your relationships,
specifically the ones you would like to change. To do this, remember your past
encounters with the person you are about to interact with. How did they make you feel? Bad? Guilty? Shameful? Worthless? Stupid? Anxious? Fearful? What did they do or say to make you feel that way? What language did they use? How did they catch you off guard? What did they talk about? Etc.

Pay attention to their patterns of interaction. Remember those patterns before you
go into the interaction, either in person or on the phone. Then watch and wait for those patterns to repeat, and how they make you feel the way you always do, like clockwork, when you are interacting with this person.

Step 3 – Don’t judge these people. You do it too! The point of all this is to bring
you in line with reality, so you can see, that the way people act towards you is nothing personal. They are on autopilot, and you happen to be receptive to their programming. Your karma matches up. It’s as much your fault as it is theirs.

Step 4 – Don’t try to change them. You will only frustrate your self. Admit the
truth of their being and love them. Decide if you really want to continue playing this game with them. If so, fine. If not, don’t engage the program. It’s up to you!

The more skillful you become with this exercise, the more comical it will become.
You will no longer be triggered, and it becomes a game. “How are they going to try and trigger me this time,” you will ask. Most of the time you will catch it, before it happens, before they do their usual spiel that will make you feel un-tranquil. As you continue the relationship they will unconsciously learn that they no longer have an effect on you. Then you will relax, thinking you have it mastered, and BAM, somehow they found another way to nail you, out of left field. You won’t take it so personally, unless it’s terribly cruel, and you will chuckle to your self. They got you that time!

But this is not about wasting your time playing games with people. It is about
seeing the truth of the quality of the relationship. It is about inspiring you to see
“realistically” where you are in life in regards to relationships. This creates the ground work, the foundation, for you to begin the process of change, of attracting what you do want out of your interactions with people.